I am a boring person.
I don’t go out. I don’t drink. I don’t party, smoke, or go clubbing. I like to stay in, read books, watch TV, play board games, sip coffee in hipster cafes, take walks by myself, drink cups and cups and cups of green tea, and just be boring.
Of course I don’t actually think I’m boring. It’s just that people generally wouldn’t find me fun. Well, fun people won’t find me fun. The problem is college/adult social lives typically revolve around house parties; Thursday night happy hours; dancing in sweaty, sardine-packed clubs; head-banging to DJs at glow-in-the-dark raves; and brunch—with mimosas of course.
Not everyone finds this fun, but the loudest people and the people portrayed in media as “cool” sure do. The people who stay home with their nose buried in a book, play DnD on a Friday night, or binge cartoons all weekend long are labeled nerds, dorks, and weirdos. But it’s okay to be nerdy/dorky/weird/boring; it’s actually really cool! Boring’s relative, so what’s fun for one may not be for another.
Nevertheless, “being boring” has its perks. Here are some to consider the next time you’re pressured to actually leave your house for once.
1. Save that Dolla Dolla Bill $$$
By not spending on club entrance fees, alcoholic drinks, or other “fun” but expensive social activities, you can save a ton of money. Spend that cash on some books or a fancy latte instead. You could also save up for a Netflix subscription so you’ll finally stop missing out on that show everyone’s been raving about. I still need to watch Stranger Things…
2. Not Dying
Alcohol is not the healthiest thing to put in your body. The dangers of clubs, parties, and raves are paramount, especially since most people in attendance are intoxicated and/or high. Unfortunately, the potential for harm is even higher for women because of rape culture on college campuses and at nightclubs. Suffice to say, “having fun” scares me. Of course these activities can be done without any regrettable outcomes if necessary precautions are taken and substances are consumed in moderation, but the risk of danger is higher if one drinks or gets high. I’m a very risk-averse person so I don’t like putting myself in potentially dangerous situations. To each their own of course, but I’ll just stay at home where the possibilities of dying are limited to me slipping in the shower or the roof falling down.
This one relates to “Not Dying” but mostly just stems from my need to be in control of my body. I don’t like the thought of not knowing what I’m doing, so alcohol and other substances never really appealed to me. Though they can enhance the experience and make things more fun—loosening you up, opening your mind, letting the creative juices flow—I feel like I have more fun when I’m fully aware of myself.
4. Alone Time
I’m a very independent, introverted person so I need lots of alone time to function properly. Engaging in social activity generally drains my energy, so I need to recharge by reading, watching videos, taking a walk, etc. by myself. Sometimes being with other people does energize me, but it’s rare and only occurs when I’m with close friends or people I click with. Even then, we’re usually doing something “boring.” However, I still need my me-time even when I’m with my favorite people; everyone does. The nice thing about being boring is that you generally get to have more alone time, and for me that’s wonderful.
5. Knowing Yourself
More time by yourself means more time to figure out who you are! You are the person you will spend the most time with in your life, so I highly recommend getting to know yourself and learning to love YOU. Introspection isn’t just knowing your likes and dislikes, but understanding your values, opinions, and mindset on life. It takes time and and a lot of thought to become self-aware but it’s totally worth it.
Though they’re not always accurate, I think taking personality tests is a great way to get started. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a popular one, and I recommend doing the 16personalities one because it has comprehensive profiles for each type. I’m an INTJ, The Architect. You could also do a Hogwarts house quiz!
A more unconventional way of learning about yourself is to do a tarot card reading! I have a deck and do readings for my friends all the time because it’s really fun to learn about each other’s hopes, challenges, and personality through the different spreads. The cards can provide insight and new frameworks of thinking along with the typical answer to “When will I find love in my life?” I have the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn deck, but I also recommend Shadowscapes, Illuminated Tarot, or Ellistrations.
6. Quality vs. Quantity Interactions
Like most introverts, I prefer to have fewer and deeper relationships with people than a wide network of acquaintances. When there are less people to worry about and keep tabs on, it’s easier to dedicate your time to the ones that truly matter. Of course this is just a preference, but I find that by being boring, I am more able and likely to spend time with the people who get me and less with those with whom I don’t feel a connection.
Doing things on your own is extremely liberating. For practical purposes, flying solo has group involvement beat. You don’t have to coordinate schedules, you get to do exactly what you want, and you get to do it faster. When you’re boring and don’t hang out with people all the time, you end up being a lot more self-sufficient. Society makes us scared to be alone, and I find it incredibly sad that the majority of people can’t bear to be by themselves. I do things on my own all the time: watch movies, go out to eat, travel, live in a different city, etc. It’s actually lots of fun to do things myself because I’m less influenced by others when I’m experiencing a new food, piece of art, or place. I come to form my own opinions and insights.
8. Some Goddamn Peace and Quiet
The world is so loud. Quiet is a treasure.
— Angela Sarabia
This post stems from my personal experience with feeling left out, slightly ashamed, and sometimes guilty for not being a fun person. I resented the constant “Oh you don’t drink?” or “You’re not going to the party?” and that look of disappointment (and pity) in people’s eyes whenever I said no. I oftentimes felt bad that I could not provide the fun some of my friends wanted and would later fall victim to FOMO whenever I saw the photos of their night out with other people. It sometimes made me wish I could be more fun.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually want to be different from who I am. I am a fun person. By my own standards. Like I said, fun is relative so what I do for fun is fun. And there are other fun people like me who do the same fun things so we have fun together. Ultimately, it’s about knowing what you enjoy and doing those things even if the world thinks it’s boring, because more likely than not, there’s someone out there who likes to do it too.
Try new, “fun” things, but don’t make yourself miserable for the sake of fitting in with others. Get out of your comfort zone in moderation, and just “Stay boring my friends!“*
*Also a quote by Angela Sarabia